by Shelley Row, P.E., ACC
“I’m trying not to be worried. It will be fine.”
If I said it once, I said it a hundred times. I said it to my friends. I said it to my work colleagues. And most importantly, I said it to myself. Looking back, I thought I was being positive. “It will all be fine.” But my brain heard, “worried” over and over and over again. So my brain gave me worry.
As an insightful leader, the words you say to yourself are more impactful than the words you say to others. The words you say to yourself color your outlook, your demeanor and the way you show up to others. You can use your words to create the impact you want.
I attended the Align Retreat this weekend in Oregon with Chris West (www.videonarrative.com). During that retreat I was reminded of the power of words. We were encouraged to write down the type of life we want and design a business that supports it. If I don’t want to worry, then what do I want? After learning tips and receiving tools, I realized that growing a business didn’t have to be hard. It could be easy. That’s it! Easy. Like they say at Staples, “Just press the Easy button.™” Those are the new words that I feed my brain.
How are you using words to get what you want? Try these three steps:
- Choose positive words. Choose positive words that reflect the state of mind you want rather than the state of mind you don’t want. Instead of saying, “I’m not ________” say “I am _______.” Leave the “not” behind. Your brain responds to the words you say repeatedly. Whether it’s worry, easy, hard, peaceful, or frustrated, your brain creates what you tell it. Next time you’re tempted to say, “I’m so frustrated that this process didn’t work,” pause, rethink and choose differently, “Okay. That didn’t work. Here’s a chance for a new approach.” Focus on creating a new approach. What state of mind do you want to be in? How can you state it positively? Leave the “not” behind.
- Repeat and repeat again. The brain pays attention to repetition. The more you state something, particularly out loud, the more likely your brain will pay attention. You train your brain. It’s like learning to hit a golf ball, paint with watercolors, or speak in front of a group. Practice makes each time a little easier. It’s the same with words. The more you say positive words, intentionally, the more your brain embeds it. This is why mantras work.
- Reminders. Have you tried to change a habit? You made a good effort briefly but fell back into the same, old pattern? It’s understandable because the old way is easier for the brain. That’s why you need reminders to force you and your brain to remember the new words. In my case, I ordered an “Easy” button.™ It’s being delivered as I write. I plan to surround myself with reminders that work can be easy. What will remind you of the positive words you choose? The more reminders, the more likely you are to reinforce the positive words and the more likely you are to believe them.
Words matter. Choose yours carefully and positively. Leave the “not” behind. Surround yourself with reminders. It’s like pressing the Easy button.™
Shelley Row, P.E., ACC works with executives, managers and organizations to develop insightful leaders who must see beyond the data. Shelley helps you grow the bottom line and reduce workplace drama by bringing you practical techniques in decision-making, motivation and teamwork that are grounded in neuroscience and her executive and engineering experience. Named by Inc. as a top 100 leadership speaker, she is also a consultant and author. Learn more at www.shelleyrow.com.