Originally published by Debi Silber, 30 November 2017
Have you ever noticed how you may be on your way to your dream job, body or relationship and somehow, you’ve sabotaged yourself?
Why would we consciously or subconsciously derail efforts that are bringing us towards what we believe we want? While a few reasons may be that we’re afraid of change, afraid to put ourselves out there, and afraid to shine, there are many other reasons too.
Here are 5 ways to stop killing your success:
1. Stop swimming upstream:
Sometimes we’re getting subtle messages that we’re headed in the wrong direction. Of course, nothing is really “wrong” because even going in a direction we’re not meant to go in will quickly reveal what the next best step may be. Having said that, when we’re continuously swimming upstream, when it seems as if every effort is bringing us to a dead end, when we’re met with continual resistance with each attempt, it’s often the Universe’s way of telling us that it’s not working because it’s not meant to.
While many of us (me included), believe that this exhausting strategy shows our determination and stick-to-it resolve, sometimes taking a step back reveals that what we’re working towards is simply not a fit. Success is often found when letting go of what’s not working and allowing space for something that will.
2. Stop running enthusiastically in the wrong direction:
One of my mentors said that to me once and it hit me right between the eyes. Just because something is working for someone else doesn’t mean that it’s going to work for you. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to health, business, or relationships so assuming someone else’s strategies will work for you can be a set-up for disappointment.
Your success is likely to be found in listening to many different types of strategies, synthesizing them all to create your own unique “recipe,” then moving towards it daily.
3. Stop forcing an outcome:
Would you ever plant a flower then keep digging up the bulb to check and see how it’s growing? Of course, not but that’s what we often do when it comes to our success. Instead of putting in our best efforts, then letting go and allowing the process to unfold, we often try to control the outcome, believing that there can’t possibly be a better plan or outcome than the one we’re trying so hard to create.
So, here’s something to consider, what if you let go of the outcome you’re trying to create and something so much better were to emerge? That’s what happens when we let go and allow.
4. Stop “getting off the highway too soon:”
So, I have an odd habit of driving to a destination and if I get the sense that I should have gotten off the exit by a certain time, I’ll get off the next exit only to find that the exit I was supposed to get off at was the next one and if I’d have just hung in there, everything would have worked out just fine. With that, when I get discouraged that something isn’t happening quickly enough for my Type A+++ personality (can anyone relate?), I remind myself to stop “getting off the highway too soon.”
It’s a reminder that while my timeframe may be “now,” everything happens in Divine time. Have patience, everything you want, wants you, even if it feels like it’s taking forever. Stop derailing your success and have more patience.
5. Stop numbing/distracting yourself:
We use food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy along with reckless behavior to numb and distract ourselves from facing something we’re trying not to see. The voice that’s telling us something is in need of change gets louder and the stakes get higher. If it used to take two cookies to numb the voice, now it takes four, if it used to take one TV show to numb the voice, now you’re binge-watching an entire series.
While it’s true that facing what you’re trying to avoid may lead to temporary chaos, it’s a sign telling you that it’s time for growth and change. When you address it, work through it and take the next steps based on what you find, it may be scary, but it typically leads to a place of strength and empowerment which is where the success you crave can be found.
Is success in the areas of health, business, and relationships eluding you? Chances are it’s due to some old beliefs that no longer serve you, a lack of awareness, or fear of change.
Life is about growing so see where you’re getting stuck in order to stop sabotaging the success you deserve.
Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC, FDN is the Amazon #1 bestselling author of The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Healing Your Body, Mind and Life after a Life Crisis and has created a multi-pronged approach to help women prevent or heal-physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually from a life crisis. Learn more at www.DebiSilber.com.