Leaders, have you blocked some time in your day for you? Leading teams can be daunting if you are not careful at creating balance and making time for yourself too. I often hear this from leaders I am coaching; “I want better relationships with my team.” When asked about having a better relationship with oneself, I get blank stares. To be a passionate, authentic, emotionally intelligent leader requires time for reflection to relate and connect with self. Yes, YOU—the human being; not just the human doing! Make the time to “Know Yourself” – the first step in the Six Seconds EQ Model – and tune in to your own emotional data to increase your self-awareness. Two key skills of the “Know Yourself” pursuit are to:
- Name and understand the feelings you are experiencing
- Recognize your typical patterns of reaction
Try these S.U.C.C.E.S.S strategies for Connecting with Your Best Self
Sit – Schedule in at least 5 minutes per day to just sit in silence. I recommend the morning to start your day the optimistic way! Sit with no TV, radio, cell phone, music or people. You can also sit in your car before turning on the ignition. It may seem awkward at first. Go with the flow, take a deep breath, and be present to you.
Uncover – As you enjoy your own company, ask yourself “how are you feeling today and say your name?” Resist the temptation to say I’m Okay, I’m fine, I’m tired, or I’m still sleepy. Name the true feeling you are having in the moment, i.e. happy, sad, afraid, anxious, etc.
Choose – Now decide if those feelings you’ve uncovered will help you or hinder you from what you truly want to accomplish in your day. Set a powerful intention. You have the power to choose how you want to feel, be, and react throughout the day.
Commit – Genuinely promise to stay in touch with yourself daily. Do what you say you would do and feel throughout the day. Keep your own word. Be your own best friend. It’s easier to keep a promise to someone else and you are just as important.
Embrace – Okay…you started the day powerfully and got off track a bit. Don’t waste time beating yourself up. Just get back in touch with self and keep honoring your intention. When you keep your inner light on, it is attractive, appealing, and it feels good too. Embrace yourself!
Salute – Why wait for others to do it for you! Acknowledge yourself! Tell yourself what you did well or what you are most proud of and be happy for a reason or no reason. Then share the highs of the day with a colleague, friend, or relative.
Savor –Enjoy what you’re learning about yourself! Continue with these practices. Plan ahead and schedule some down time or me-time – even for just 5 minutes. It will make a world of difference for you, your family, colleagues, and everyone you interact with on a daily basis.
If gasoline powers your car, electricity powers your devices, food powers your cells, and faith powers the spirit, then what powers your heart to BE your best self? With these practices, you will gain some insights into what powers you and the leader you really want to be so others will follow you. Enjoy the journey and your new relationship with SELF!
Anita, Passionista, Torres, M.S., CPLP, CEC, ACC
Certified Executive Coach and Consultant
Passion Powered Consulting, LLC